Loving through our preferences isn’t evolutionary

Perhaps like you, I believed dating via strictly adhering to my list of preferences was my ticket to the romantic relationship promised-land. Not who would challenge me in just the right ways. Not who would bring cosmic balance to my character traits. But instead, who would check off my ego’s list of personal likes and dislikes most completely. What I wasn’t accounting for is how this would just make my ego comfortable and unchallenged which inhibits my growth rather than stimulates it. Loving only what I prefer leaves my ego un-evolving and complacent which doesn’t align with my personal spiritual growth ideals. Shouldn’t our romantic relationships both compliment and challenge us deeply if they are to be our most vital spiritual partnerships?